One of my followers wrote that at 4 am as we commented back and forth on one of my posts.
I may have insomnia, but I am RESILIENT.
Contrast that with the first time I truly contemplated the meaning of this word. Rewind about 10 months as I am sitting in my new therapist’s office. She listened as I caught her up on the previous 6 or 7 years as quickly and succinctly as possible.
Her response? “You are very resilient.”
She might as well have cursed at me. It felt as if she hurled those words at my chest like a dagger. The hurt little girl inside of me longed to scream and stomp her foot. “I don’t want to be resilient. I’m tired. I don’t want to HAVE to be resilient!”
Over the course of the last year, I have learned to appreciate resilience, to honor it when I see it in other people, and to celebrate my own.
According to the Oxford Languages Dictionary, resilient people can withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions. They remain positive when faced with stress, uncertainty, and change.
I know many friends, colleagues, clients, and acquaintances embody resilience. I know this because resilience leaves clues.
Clue #1: You stay focused on growth. I know people who have written books, started companies, shifted everything about their business, learned how to homeschool their children, learned languages and more during this pandemic. Even people who do not feel they’ve done much of anything have learned new skills such as how to work from home, how to ramp up self-care when needed, or how to budget when times get tight. It may be small or feel insignificant, but we have all grown in some way in 2020. The key is to change your mindset from “what I had to do to survive” to “look what I learned!” That is resilience.
How many of you ate too much, drank too much, slept too much, shopped too much or some other too much this year? I see those hands and hear that snickering. The key is not staying there. That is…
Clue #2: You bounce back quickly. I admit to days of self-pity, a defeated attitude, and lack mentality. But each time I go there these days I stay less time. Each time I come back stronger. I love seeing this in my clients. I work with amazing people who are not suddenly perfect in their decluttering and organizing habits, but because they have new skills they bounce back quickly. They bounce back with more confidence each time. Life, and mess, happens but they are resilient and come back strong!
Clue #3: You surround yourself with quality people. How many of you have coaches, mentors, accountability partners, or amazing close friends? Resilient people intentionally seek out and surround themselves with a circle of like-minded and striving friends and associates. Author Tamara Kulish says, “You become what you surround yourself with. Energies are contagious. Choose carefully. Your environment will become you.” This is why we create productive environments, but it also extends to the people in our lives.
The exciting thing about resilience is it is a skill. It’s related to your personality, but it can be learned and improved over time.
So, if someone marvels at your resilience, don’t dodge it or throw it back. Own it. Make it a hashtag. Live it. And be proud!